Vegan Biochar Bucket

Vegan Biochar Bucket

Regular price $167.00 Sale

Announcing New Biochar Product For Vegan Gardeners That One Meat Eating Garden Troll Just Back From Most Recent Hunt Says Is...

 

“OVERKILL and Obviously a Complete Scam!”

“This product ain’t cheap.”

“And it’s only intended for a small corner of my client list.”

“And before you even ask...”

“You CAN use it even if you're not Vegan.”

“BUT...”

“If you’re Vegan, and frustrated with how hard it is to find soils, amendments, and fertilizers that do not support the animal agriculture industry... if you’ve had to resort to using garden products you knew were made with manures, shells and bones because you couldn’t find an animal-free alternative... or you’ve even been relegated to using nothing at all...”

“Then you may want to give my Vegan Biochar Bucket a try.”

 

Dear Vegan Gardener:

If you grow outside...

If you only want to use garden products that are not intentionally fortified with animal by-products...

If you want to KNOW that you created your garden in a cruelty-free way...

One handful of my NEW Vegan Biochar Bucket might be just what you need.

Here’s the low-down:

You probably know I make products that can help your soil stay fertile for a long time without you having to maintain it all that much, which is way cooler than the traditional way of doing things that rely of heavy, continuous use of fertilizers.

And you also know that, ironically, many of the products I sell use animal parts and animal by-products.

Those animal parts and animal by-products come primarily in the form of compost.

It’s very hard to find compost that does not contain animals in some way, shape, or form.

I’ve looked.

I’m sure you have, too.

And for now... I’ve given up looking.

So it is.

But for some time...

I’d have these running conversations with myself.

Here’s what they look like:

“You need to have a product for the Vegans.”

“Why?”

“After all, you pretty much are one yourself.”

“But I identify as Plant-Based?”

“Stop it.”

“It’s close enough.”

“And, besides, the primary ingredient in all the products you have...”

“IS VEGAN TO BEGIN WITH, DAMMIT!”

“Moreover, the way the primary ingredient works its magic in the soil doesn’t care if you’re vegan... or an animal consumer.”

“It doesn’t care.”

“It’ll work the same either way.”

“So, why don’t you get off your bee-hind and get to work making a product for the Vegans!”

And so, my dear Vegan Gardener...

That is why I decided to get my act together.

Get off my bee-hind...

And create a product for YOU the Vegan Gardener.

A product that you will be proud to use.

To be clear...

My Vegan Biochar Bucket won’t win me any points with the design police...

Meat Eaters...

Cow Milk Drinkers...

Snobby Gardeners...

Garden Trolls who feel this is all purely for your “psychological benefit.”

And it certainly won’t help me with the overwhelming majority of humanity who remains steadfast in their belief that...

All Soil Is Vegan

However...

It is a step in the RIGHT direction.

My Vegan Biochar Bucket is admittedly very, very pricy.

But it is 100% Vegan through and through...

Contains ZERO animal by-products...

No compost...

No GMOs...

No synthetic compounds...

No herbicides...

Nothing But Plants.

And it can make you some pretty low-maintenance, lasting soil that you can be proud of.

Plus...

Your plants will get a kick out of it, too.

In fact, my Vegan Biochar Bucket contains a balance of “slow-release” and “fast-release” nutrients ready to provide healthy, plant-based nutrition to your plants wherever they’re at in their stage of growth.

So...

If you’re willing to give it a shot...

Here are a few of the benefits the plant-based ingredients in this Vegan Biochar Bucket have accomplished for others and may accomplish for you:

  • More plant vigor and less boring “ho hum” growth
  • Might result in up to a 100% increase in plant water availability (according to recent studies from the University of Illinois, the biochar in my Vegan Biochar Bucket ALONE can result in up to a 50% increase in plant water availability)
  • No stink — it might sound weird but some Vegan products out there can smell like manure even though manure isn’t listed as an ingredient. If that’s been your experience... rest assured my Vegan Biochar Bucket doesn’t smell bad. Actually, it smells nice.
  • Loaded with prebiotics to feed beneficial nitrogen fixing soil microbes the moment it comes in contact with your native soil
  • Got heavy clay? My Vegan Biochar Bucket can make a handful of your soil feel light and feather weight
  • Plant-based drought protection (especially if you live in area vulnerable to water bans and such — according to the journal BMC Plant Biology, my Vegan Biochar Bucket’s ingredients can cut your risk of wilting by 27% due to “drought stress”)
  • May work as a control mechanism against jumping worms (The Wisconsin Extension Program — the group leading the charge against jumping worms — lists biochar as a viable control mechanism for gardeners against the jumping worm invasion)
  • Prevents “nutrient leaching” (the primary component in my Vegan Biochar Bucket - the biochar - has been shown to reduce “nutrient leaching” by up to 69%)
  • Increased soil fertility
  • Might add up to 20% more MASS to your plant’s root system (that would mean your plants have easier access to harder to reach nutrients)
  • Boost your soil’s “cation exchange” (What if re-fertilizing your soil was the exception rather than the RULE? Upping your soil’s ability to hold onto un-used plant nutrients and then send them to plants on-demand is how you make that a reality. The ingredients in my Vegan Biochar Bucket will help you do that almost immediately.)
  • May result in explosive new plant growth (safety goggles required)
  • Could protect you from harmful, and in some cases deadly, heavy metal build up in your soil (The Journal of Applied Surface Science found biochar binds with heavy metals, which makes them harmless to you)
  • Provides long-term soil organic matter that enables the “Soil Food Web” to almost run your entire garden on autopilot
  • Acts as a “storage reservoir” for for un-used plant nutrients and water
  • Extends your plant roots surface hundreds of times what it actually is which means your plants can pluck the nutrients they need out of neighboring soil almost at will.
  • Might help moderate extreme swings in soil temperature by a degree or two (which can make the difference between a garden that gets wiped out by a cold front that comes in early spring, and a garden that thrives all through the growing season)
  • Stops “soil erosion” in its tracks
  • Better oxygen flow into the soil — good for the beneficial soil microbes you already have; bad for “anaerobic” bacteria such as E-COLI which is found in poorly made compost
  • Binds tiny little free-floating soil particles together and creates a continuous cycle of lasting soil structure
  • Provides the correct type of nitrogen to your plants (Most vegetables, annuals, and grasses prefer “nitrite” while trees, shrubs, and perennials prefer “ammonium”)
  • Improved “nutrient density” in the food you grow in your garden (when you test food from grocery stores for nutrient density you’ll see they typically rank in the low to medium ranges... however, you may see “refractive index” scores in the high to excellent ranges from fruits and vegetables you grow with my Vegan Biochar Bucket.)
  • Could reduce (or eliminate) root rot and damping off
  • Connects multiple plants from different species together in one self-sustaining network (This is kind of like having your very own “Soil Intelligence Network” on constant alert 24/7 for threats. And it gives your plants the ability to “share” nutrients with each other even if they’re not the same kind of plant.)
  • May increase the strength of your soil’s own IMMUNE SYSTEM to fight off diseases (The mycorrhizal fungi in my Vegan Biochar Bucket just by themselves create “physical barriers” around, and even WITHIN, plant roots that prevent some pathogenic organisms from successfully infiltrating your plants)
  • Promotes lasting soil structure and prevents your soil from turning to mud (even if it rains a lot in your neck of the woods)
  • Great for turning cheap $5-dollar-a-bag top soil into your very own PLANT BASED SUPER SOIL (that lasts a long time, too)
  • WARNING: Might reduce the impact of herbicides (research from the US Department of Agriculture shows that properly made biochar —- which is exactly what you get in this bucket — can do this and this might not be what you want)
  • May extend your growing season by several weeks which means more homegrown food for you to feast on
  • And last (but definitely not least), my Vegan Biochar Bucket allows you to...

Actually Control The Soil Conditions You Grow In.

Admittedly...

This benefit is almost unreal.

And it runs contrary to what most people believe about their soil.

But it makes sense when you realize that my Vegan Biochar Bucket has been designed with the fundamentals of how plants and the soil interact in mind.

What that means is when you use my Vegan Biochar Bucket, it “switches on” and “ramps up” very special natural enzymes that already exist in your soil, enzymes which are suppressed by traditional soil amendments and fertilizers.

And when these enzymes are activated...

They adjust the soil acidity to where it needs to be based on what you’re growing.

When soil acidity is in the correct range, it makes it hard, and in some cases IMPOSSIBLE, for weeds and diseases to come in and outcompete your plants for water, nutrients, and attention from soil microbes.

And it almost FORCES the plants you desire...

To Thrive.

Now...

What’s actually in the Vegan Biochar Bucket?

Glad you asked.

I’ve made a list of all the ingredients.

BUT...

I’ve changed their names around...

And left you Easter Egg Hints you can use to find out the colloquial names of all the ingredients in case you're interested.

And if you track down all the correct names of the ingredients and email them to me after your purchase... I'll refund your order by 5%. (And you only have 1 week after your purchase to get your guesses in.)

So...

Without further adieu...

Here's The Final List of Ingredients... 

  • The Queen of Fodder: This organic, perennial flowering plant is a pre-biotic which means it feeds all the beneficial soil microbes that already exist in your soil... without it you would be cutting off nutrient supply to your plants at the WORST POSSIBLE TIME - when they’re growing. Organic. Non-GMO. Medicago sativa.
  • A Controversial Bean: Long before there were even written records, this crucial crop was considered “sacred” for its unique ability to feed the soil. Without it... your Soil Food Web would be a lot less webby, your soil might smell weird, and your plants wouldn’t have food for their later stages of growth. Organic. Non-GMO. Glycine max.
  • Space Dust: Brought to you direct from marine sedimentary deposits from, among other things, cosmic space dust and underwater volcanic activity occurring over the entire course of our planet’s existence... and that continues to this day. Without it... your plants would not grow with the vigor that makes your neighbors jealous. Organic. Non-GMO. P2O5
  • A Little Known and Mysterious Marine Sedimentary Rock: Without it your greens wouldn’t be... green. Simple enough. Organic. Non-GMO. K2Mg2(SO4)3
  • Jersey Girl: An ancient mineral deposit formed long ago in the deep, dark, cold waters of the Mighty Atlantic... formed... interestingly... long before the idea of my Vegan Biochar Bucket was even conceived. Without it... your soil’s ability to maintain its structure in spite of extreme heat or extreme cold would be damn good... not gonna lie... but not... “OVERKILL”. Organic. Non-GMO. (K,Na)(Fe,Al,Mg)2(Si,Al)4O10(OH)2
  • Cristaaal: Harvested by the frozen hands of plump, hardy Atlantic fisherman dressed in yellow overalls to conserve every last ounce of warmth in their bodies... And it’s a good thing they dressed warmly and were able to bring their catch back to shore... This ingredient has all the trace minerals your plants need. Organic. Non-GMO. Ascophyllum Nodosum
  • The Choir Invisible: These suckers are the product of natural processes that take thousands of years to cycle through. Without them... your plants would have to peddle for food... With them... your plants can magnetically attract the right nutrients at the right time without spending a lick of energy. Organic. Non-GMO. Named after the first Director of the North Dakota Geological Survey.
  • Highly Potent Propagules: These creatures latch onto your plants’ roots — they’re kind of like tentacles that not only help your plants take up water and nutrients and adapt to stress, they create an impenetrable wall of slime in the soil that shields your plants from infectious bacteria constantly trying to infiltrate your plants and turn them into their reluctant hosts. Endomycorrhizal
  • Plus my beloved Raw Biochar... So Fine... So Pure... You Could Even Make Your Very Own Fancy Water Filtration System With It If You Wanted To. Not That You Want To... But It’s Cool That You COULD If You Wanted.

 

Now...

For some bad news.

As you can tell by my product’s name...

My Vegan Biochar Bucket comes to you in...

A boring...

Bland...

Regular old...

5 Gallon Bucket.

Now some good news.

Your bucket doesn’t spill.

It doesn’t leak.

It’s solid.

Reliable.

And it’s recyclable.

Food grade quality.

And you can plant directly in it, too.

(After you’ve used up all of its delicious vegan contents, of course.)

Like I said...

My Vegan Biochar Bucket is 100% Vegan through and through...

Contains ZERO animal by-products...

No compost...

No GMOs...

No synthetic compounds...

No herbicides...

Has been screened for purity of the ingredients (jumping worms got no where close to any of the ingredients in this bucket)...

Has a practically INFINITE shelf-life...

And let me just say...

Properly made biochar — which you get in this bucket —- has a theoretical lifespan of 1 million years in your soil —- unfortunately, you will have to trust me on that because no one is gonna even live long enough to find out. But the bottom line is you will reap the rewards of my Vegan Biochar Bucket for many, many years to come.

You can even use it in combination with all the amendments and fertilizers you already use.

And it’s been PURPOSEFULLY made for ultimate convenience:

You can simply use one handful per plant and either top dress or mix it directly into the soil.

At $167 per bucket...

It’s obviously not cheap.

But we’ve also put together some generous discounts on quarterly and yearly orders if you want to save money that you can learn more about the moment your first shipment arrives on your doorstep - or wherever you have the mailman deliver your packages.

Plus, another thing to realize before buying is...

There Are No Refunds or Guarantees On My Vegan Biochar Bucket And All Sales Are Final.

This is definitely not for price shoppers — if that’s you, I suggest going to your local nursery and cobbling together what you can find instead.

 

If you are serious about using soil amendments that don’t contain animal by-products...

Then I suggest grabbing it now.

Here’s how to do that:

Adjust the “Quantity” to the number of buckets you want.

And click the “Add To Cart” Button.

That's all.

 

Orders should arrive in about 1 weeks time.

Your Pal,

Pat White

Kalanso Biochar

P.S. There is a dark underbelly of buying my Vegan Biochar Bucket: You must apply it to your soil over multiple growing seasons if you want to truly reap all the rewards.

You might even need to apply it when it’s not growing season at all (like late in the fall or over the winter).

Why?

Because my Vegan Biochar Bucket is not a “quick fix.”

It’s a lot more like exercise.

You cannot go out for a walk today and expect to be running a marathon tomorrow.

It’s the same with my Vegan Biochar Bucket.

You have to be willing to let it build up over time in your soil before you start realizing all the benefits - like low-maintenance, lasting soil and stronger, healthier plants.

If you’re not willing to do that...

Then please do not order.

My Vegan Biochar Bucket is for gardeners who don’t want to use amendments that contain animal by-products, and who want to do everything they can to make their soil the best it can be, and who understand that it takes time and patience to make your soil low-maintenance and long lasting. (That’s one reason why we offer generous discounts on bulk and future orders.)

If that sounds like you, then please check out my Vegan Biochar Bucket today.